i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
