What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
