They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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