...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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