bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
