**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
