Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize