Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
