My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
