I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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