No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
