So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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