Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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