U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
