Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
