If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
