I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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