Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
