Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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