Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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