I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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