I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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