at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
