i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
