He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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