in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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