I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
