i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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