So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
