11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
