I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
