in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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