Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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