I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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