Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
