I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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