After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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