oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize