So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
