barbara walters just said penis...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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