Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
