Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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