I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
