My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
