Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
