'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
