She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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