he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
