I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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