Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
