I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
