I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
