big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
