with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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