Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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