She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
