I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
