the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
